Angel of God,
My guardian Dear
To whom God’s love
Commits me here
Ever this day be at my side
To light , to guard
To rule and guide.
This is the prayer I used to say as a little girl. I don’t know if all Christians learn this, or just Catholics, but I said it nightly for a long time before going through the list of family members and friends to bless before falling off to sleep.
I don’t say it much now, but it does give me comfort on the rare occasion when I do say it.
Now I just seem
to have frank conversations or call out for help and invariably receive it.
I was just watching the show "Angles Among Us” where people call out for help in extreme situations. And I certainly would too! But now I ask on mostly a daily basis, for help even for little things.
“Can you help me find my glasses, please?” is a common plea. My life would be so much more frustrating and difficult without the help of God by way of the Angels (Thank you, God & the Angels!)
All faiths have an angelic tradition. Even though I believe Angels help all who ask, not just Christians,
As a teenager I do remember two distinct times that I believe God intervened to help me. I am certain there were Angels involved.
I was having
difficulty with my trigonometry course. Most everyone thought our teacher, Trudy W., was a great teacher, though I was not
among that group. She didn’t like questions, and she was impatient with people
who “didn’t get it”. My class had a number of “smarties” in it and so things
seemed to move very fast. Some days we’d go over material and the class would get
caught up in shouting out the answers. If you couldn’t keep up… well, the
attitude was ‘don’t be a drag on the class’. – Mind you, I was a good student and certainly no
troublemaker.
If I had a question you can bet others did too.
So there I was really baffled by the math and Trudy, rather than helping, made a denigrating remark to me for all to hear. I was angry and humiliated. I wanted retaliation, truth be told. I had a very sharp 4 inch pencil in my hand that was weighted like a dart. The thought of hoisting that pencil at her, with the precision a dart is capable of and aiming for the point right between her eyes was my single, dark focus. I could visualize the hit. I felt the satisfaction of it. I teetered on the brink of bringing my vision into reality.
“ You can’t do
that” a quiet but confident voice said.
“Think of what will happen to you… to her…,” it insisted.
“This is not who you are,” it reminded me.
I wonder if she had any idea of how close I came to putting out her eye
that day… I don’t think my aim would have been perfect- but close enough to do damage.
I finally came
back to myself and thought better of playing darts with her as the target.
I decided I would have to go home and figure it out the trig. myself.
Later in the day I put all my notes and assignments in front
of me and turned on the TV. The noise from talking was distracting, and the
events of the day played in my head mixing with my doubt that I would never
understand this stuff. Distraction was just what I needed emotionally. I hoped that the noise of the TV would drown out the
doubt. I finally turned over to a UHF channel just for the static white noise,
which we called "snow".
I realized that I needed a very good grade on the test the following day in order to pull up my sagging grade. But this trigonometry made no sense to me, and I didn’t see the point of it ! (I still don’t and have never used it since) Even today 36 years later, I like to understand why I am doing what I am doing. I guess the not knowing what the point of trigonometry was part of my problem.
Feeling hopeless, I said a quiet prayer, “Please God, help me understand this stuff.”
No sooner had I thought the thought than a literal “light bulb” went off in my head.
I actually saw one flash in my mind’s eye. The key to understanding what I didn’t understand appeared as a theory to be tried out…. I did the first problem using the “theory” and tentatively checked the answer. It was correct! Wow! Could it be that simple? Suddenly it was like solving a puzzle and I had just found the missing piece.
I like solving puzzles and I moved on to the next problem & quickly worked through it. Again I checked the answer and was astounded to see that it was correct! I then looked back over the previous assignments and realized everything I had been doing wrong… at least I was consistent! I re-did most of the assignments till I was absolutely sure that what I was doing was going to work consistently. This took me all of an hour or two. Then I stopped. I was ready to do battle with Trudy; battle of a different sort.
Class began with the testing call-to-your-mark. “Get out a pencils and clear your desks.” The clock had begun ticking as students bowed there heads- not to pray, (though some may have) but to begin the test. I am not sure that I said a prayer that day, but I already knew I had divine help the day before. I guess I assumed it was still in action. I was thankful and anxious to get the test behind me.
I began. Problem 1. Done. Problem 2. Done. Etcetera, etcetera.. until I had completed all the problems and the bonus points. I looked up. Everyone else was still working. Normally I don’t check my answers, because I talk myself out of them and usually the first answer is the correct one, but this time I did. I still had the same answers. Still no one else was finished… I had never been the first one to finish a test before… Should I go a head and hand it in? or wait around?
I was afraid if I looked like I was waiting around, Trudy might accuse me of
cheating… since she knew that I had not know the answers yesterday.. I didn’t
want to look as if I was waiting for something.
Trudy’s little piercing eyes followed my progression suspiciously.
“Do you have a question?” she hissed.
“No” I offered, “I am finished. I am turning in my test.”
“Don’t you want to double check it?” She asked as if I needed to be told.
“I already did,” I quietly responded and returned to my desk.
She took the test and graded it placing the red tip of her pen next to each problem.
Eventually she looked up at me with a poker face, and a crooked finger motioning that I should stand before her.
Oh boy, I
quavered inside, what’s this about as I walked not confidently back up to her desk. She pointed down at my freshly graded paper. I looked confusedly at her & then she removed her
hand from the upper left hand side of the paper. It read in large red letters 104.
That’s 100% plus 4 bonus points! All the points possible on the test and enough to pull my grade up to a very strong B!
I would like to add that there was a ‘well done’ from her, but I don’t remember that there was.
The moral(s) of
this story ?
1)
backing down from near revenge pays?
2) I am an imperfect being & still-I asked for help and I received it?
3) Beyond receiving help, I received it in a way that was beyond what I would have expected. It wasn't just a good grade- it was everything I could have earned and was faster than the smartest kids in the class.
God gives generously & perfectly?
4) Years later I still glean other lessens from it. Trudy played a role in something bigger than teaching trig and it turns out she was a great teacher- even if I didn't understand or appreciate her role at the time. I am still amazed by the lesson. And still thankful for it.
5) I still don't see the point of trig., but that class, that incident is one of my most important and memorable lessons ever!
By the way, it
took the other "smarties" another 10 minutes to finish the test. I don’t know
who was more surprised: Trudy or I.
Ahh, Perfection! Thank You!
Barb Kaiser RN/ BSN Holistic Health Consultant