This article is about potty training, but I included this video because it is easy to fall into "Mom Envy" during this potty training time. Don't let yourself. Remember that each child is different and therefore so are your interactions.
Potty training seems to be a consistently hot topic for this website judging by the stats.. so I am going to provide several links to view video clips that just may help you and your soon to be potty trained wizard through the process. All videos are available at Studio4Kids. .
2)Potty Power: Baby or Big Kid
3) Potty Time: Wipe, Wash, Flush
6) Potty Time: No More Diapers,
When to Start?
Children can learn control of their bowels beginning at about age two and two and a half for bladder control. When they are really ready potty training can be done in a week. I am skeptical of parents who say their child is potty trained earlier than this. However that being said my brother walked at age 7 months and my daughter had quite a large vocabulary at 9 months (and hasn't stopped talking yet!) and few believe me when I tell them this, so I suppose it's possible that some kids are potty trained at 18 months or 1 year. But it certainly isn't the norm by any reach of the imagination. Let's try not to get caught up in whose-kid-gets-potty-trained-first competitions, Mom. It does no one any good and just because a kid trains early doesn't necessarily mean he/she is an Einstein. I've never seen any studies anyway.
It's easier if you wait till the warmer months and plan on staying at home. You can put the potty outside while your child is playing so that he/she can get to it quickly. Be sure to dress your child simply, so that they can mange their clothing easily- elastic pants.. not buttons. etc. You may even want to forgo underwear.
How Often?
Have your child go to the potty hourly. You'll be lucky if he sits for 5 minutes. Mine would barely sit two minutes. Make sure she drinks plenty of liquids so that there are plenty of opportunities to practice. You may need to stay with them during this process.
Don't get upset if he makes mistakes( and he will). Just reassure him that he will "get it " soon and have him help clean up. When he is successful let him dump the contents of the pan into the toilet if you have that kind of potty and also let him flush the toilet. Be sure to teach him to wash his hands.
Painful & Costly Mistake: Get with the Program, Dad!
Besides teaching little girls to wipe from front to back, to prevent infection, dads may need a lesson too. I know a little girl who had a very hard time with a urinary tract infection which required extensive, invasive medical procedures. Dad felt terrible when he learned he had been the cause of the infection because he had wiped the wrong way. Moms, teach your partner because a lot of guys are clueless on this.
Hmmm....
I will tell you that potty training was a difficult process especially for my younger child and I have seen some parents really screw this up. One woman I knew, who shall rename nameless of course, provided a diaper for her 5 year old to do his, shall we say solid business in, but he used the toilet for voiding ( the medical term for urinating-I like it a lot better. Don't you?)Her 3 year old was also beginning to potty train-- the same way his brother did.
She seemed to think it was normal and had done this since the older child was 3.
When I asked her what she was going to do when he entered kindergarten, she said that he could hold it till he got home. I'll let you draw your own conclusions, but to me, besides being more than a little weird, seems like a lot of unnecessary work. And the term "anal retentive" comes to mind. Perhaps some deeper issues were at work, but maybe the kid just liked being in control of Mom. I think most moms can tell you ways their little darlings ran them around until they put a stop to it. There is a limit to what you have to put up with and also what you should put up with. At the risk of offending some parents who think that they will scar their child by saying no, let me say that kids are resilient. Limits are good things. As long as the limits are reasonable and not abusively enforced you will not scar your child.
Life is Tough & We all Use the Potty
I am thinking of another mom I know whose brilliant child found a way to train her mom to take her to the potty practically before she could walk! But she also could not make a bowel movement in the potty well into her third year. Mom was afraid of emotionally scarring her child by insisting that she use the potty to poop into even though she felt that her child was fully capable of doing so.
I say ,"Get a backbone!" because you have a lot of struggles ahead of you and you are going to need it. If you let your child dictate to you about potty training, when you know full well she is ready, you will never survive the adolescent/teenage years.This is not to say push them into potty training when they do not show signs of being ready. That definitely is a no-no.
Some kids are afraid of falling in. I read that you can put a doll in the toilet & then flush it to show him or her that the toilet won't suck them down. I have not tried this, but it sounds like a good idea. Just make sure it isn't a favorite doll (and that the head is tightly attached or I dare say, if the head did come off that just may emotionally scar a child, not to mention set your potty training back!)
My own daughter could tell me she needed a diaper change... a definite sign that she was ready to be trained, but insisted that I change the diaper. We were making progress, but it was slow. The day she insisted I change her while she laid on her stomach was the day the diaper came off and the panties went on. A solid "no way" on my part, sticking to my guns, and assurances that she could do it finally paid off. There was much whining and conniving on her part that I should give her a diaper ( Mom #1 popped into my mind- No way!) There was also intense disagreement about the functionality of things: she was certain, "It didn't work!"
Success came during dinner 2-3 nights later as she jumped down from the table, ran into the bathroom, clamored up to the potty, and yelled,
"It works! It works!"
Eureka! Hallelujah! ( My words)
Some kids are easier than others . I suspect the videos will help many parents and kids through the process of potty training. I wish I'd had them. If your child is still having trouble or showing reluctance to cooperate, review whether you may be pushing them too early. If you absolutely know your child is capable, stick to your guns. If you don't believe he can do it, he might not believe it either.
Outside Help
Once potty trained it is a good idea to have your child use the toilet every two hours while awake & whenever you do when you are out. This frequency was recommended by a urologist when I was having problems getting my child to cooperate about when to use the potty. some kids wait too long then there is a made rush...usually with wet, embarrassing results.. Besides, it gets very annoying when you have just gone to the rest room in a restaurant where your child has refused to use the bathroom, then when the food comes she need to use the potty.
Waiting too long increases the risk of bladder infection. After a visit to an urologist he told her, "Your mom is right you need to use the bathroom every two hours. Your bladder just isn't big enough to hold more than that. If you wait longer your bladder, the bag that holds the pee will get sick." Thank you, Doctor. Nothing like third party verification! We had no more arguments after that. If you are having problems with your child a talk with your family physician can go a long way in reinforcing good habits in your child. If need be talk to him/her in private and have him speak with your child.
Summer will soon be upon us. Good luck with your potty training!
Barb